Let's Get Physical

I’m still here, I promise! And I haven’t even fallen off the wagon! I haven’t been entirely ON the wagon, but I haven’t fallen off either. I’m kind of mostly on, but one of my legs is over the side as if maybe I’m going to jump. That’s why I realized I needed to get a post up here. I have to keep myself accountable!

If we go back to Friday’s entry, you’ll see that I was preparing myself for dinner out with my mom and my sister. I had decided to have ribs, macaroni and cheese, and grilled vegetables. Well, I had the ribs and the macaroni and cheese, but I caved and had cornbread instead of the grilled vegetables. I also had a cup of Cajun beef and rice soup before dinner, which ALSO came with a piece of cornbread. And to top it all off, I shared a brownie sundae with my mom and sister. I could bang my head against a wall and declare failure, but here’s why I do NOT consider Friday a failure: I ordered the half-rack of ribs, even though I wanted the full-rack. I did not eat all of my macaroni and cheese, even though it was delicious. I did not order an appetizer, besides the soup, even though they looked delicious. I shared one dessert with two other people, instead of getting my own. And I drank Diet Coke, instead of beer or a cocktail. Those are all things I did differently than I would have were I OFF the wagon, so I’m counting it as a moderate success. AND I got right back on track on Saturday.

Sunday, however, was another story. I ate and ate and ate everything I could get my hands on. I was like a bottomless pit. I’m expecting my “monthly friend”, so it could have been PMS that created those urges, but damn did I give in to them. Oh well, live and learn. I got right back on track yesterday, and I’m on track today, and I’m choosing to focus on that instead. I could have let Sunday (or even Friday) completely derail my efforts for the week, but I didn’t. I have to keep reminding myself that this is not a race or an “all or nothing” journey. This is for life, and sometimes you just have to have cornbread.

As for the drinking-once-a-week thing, I did not drink on Saturday night (I almost ALWAYS do). However, I did have two drinks at a birthday party I went to on Sunday (which is not what started the binge-fest, though…two drinks doesn’t have much of an effect on me). When I realized that I didn’t need to be drinking, I stopped. I didn’t keep drinking for the hell of it, so that’s good. I have bowling tonight, but I haven’t decided if I’m going or not. My mom is having knee surgery, so I’m going to visit her after work, and it depends on how alert she is. If she’s out of it, she told me not to skip bowling. She’s such a mom like that. Luckily the hospital is near the bowling alley, so if I do decide to go, it’s not as though I have to travel far. We’ll see how tonight plays out.

Exercise…sigh. I DID go to the gym on Saturday and spent 45 minutes on the elliptical. I did not go to the gym during my bingefest on Sunday, and I didn’t exercise yesterday. It is so, so hard for me to get up in the morning. I have to, though, because I can always talk myself out of working out in the evening. It’s going to be even tougher than normal to get up in the mornings this week, since temperatures are going to drop sharply this afternoon…I’m talking 4 degrees and -20 windchills. Dammit. I HAVE to work on this.