Welcome to My Life

Okay, time to get down to business. While there are some details about me on the sidebar to the right, I wanted to post an entry with just a little bit more information about who I am, and why I've decided to start this anonymous blog. I have been keeping a blog for years. It started off as a weight loss blog, and then it gradually transitioned into a blog about my life in general. It became especially useful as a tool when I moved away from my hometown as a way to allow people to read about what I was up to and to keep in touch without having to write individual emails all the time, but therein lies the problem. All of my family and friends now read that blog, so I find myself censoring my thoughts and writing only "make nice" things on my blog. Well, sometimes I don't want to "make nice." I want to bitch and moan and complain about the people who are pissing me off, but I don't feel like I can do that. It also means that I'm not comfortable talking about my weight loss efforts on my blog. I like to be completely honest and really put my successes and my failures (AND my stats) out there, but who wants their aunts and uncles and parents knowing how much they weigh? Not me! So, solution? I start a new, super secret, super private, super anonymous blog to talk about my weight loss efforts and how they are impacted by my life experiences. Problem solved.

Who I am, really? Well, I'm a 32 year old woman from the northeastern part of the United States, born and raised. I lived in another state for awhile, but I'm back in my hometown for good. I'm not going to talk about my job here at all, because this blog will be public for anybody in the world to see, but I will say that I'm a professional and I've been doing my job for about 7 years. I will also say that I don't really love it. I do, however, like what it pays and I have a bit more debt to pay off (although I've paid off about 2/3rds of my credit card debt in the past year and a half!), so I'm okay dealing with it for now. I was married and am now divorced, but I'm still together with my ex-husband. There are lots of reasons for that, most of which I probably won't ever get into here. I don't have any kids, but I have one dog who is the best companion I could ever ask for. I want to start trying for kids within the next year or so, which is another reason I seriously need to lose some weight. I'm very much the "organizer" of my group of friends, and I relish that role. I'm mostly Type A, but I've allowed myself to relax as I get older.

I've struggled with my weight pretty much my entire life. I wasn't obese as a child, just bigger than the rest of my friends. Nonetheless, I thought I was huge and went on a diet (SlimFast) when I was 13 years old. There began a lifetime of yo-yo dieting. I maintained at a size 12 to 14 during my teenage and college years. I was athletic and looked great, and of course I didn't realize that at the time. I've always been involved in sports and outdoor activities, so being lazy or sedentary wasn't the problem. I do, however, eat too much, and I have crap metabolism due to hypothyroidism. Obviously that's not working for me. When I started my post-undergraduate education, I gained a lot of weight rapidly, since I wasn't exercising and I was very sedentary. It was also the first time in my life I had lived away from home, so I ate out of loneliness and stress too. I managed to take 65 pounds off before my wedding (and actually, in a very healthy manner, to be honest...calorie counting and exercising), but once the problems in my marriage surfaced I quickly gained every single pound back, plus a few extras. I used sadness and stress as a reason to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. Essentially, I self-medicate with food. I know I should probably get therapy to deal with this, but I simply can't afford it right now. Paying off my credit card debt and moving out of my mother's house (I moved back in when I moved back home from another state) is my first order of business at this point in my life! I know, however, that I can lose weight with healthy eating and exercise because I've done it before, so I decided that 2008 is the last year I will spend fat. I started following Weight Watchers again this week (for like the 15th time), and I'm going to just take it one day at a time. No grand declarations or gestures here. Been there, done that. I'm simply going to do it, and let the reality speak for itself.

Few more things about me you should know. I do swear. Not like a trucker, but the occasional fuck will make its way into my entries. Shit and ass may feature pretty regularly, especially in combination with other words, such as shithead, assface, etc. I also toss around the word bitch like it's my job, so if you're easily offended by such language, bugger off. If you want to leave a comment, great! Please do! I really love comments, and am something of a comment whore, if you want the truth. If your comment is nasty, however, and you're acting like a jerkwad, I'll just delete it, and make fun of you. A lot. So don't be a jerkwad. So, let's get crackin', shall we?